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There is a well known phrase that states if you "show me your friends, I’ll show you your future."

Why Should I Watch Who I Spend Time With?

Ultimately your views, standards, behaviour and actions can often start to align and conform with the people you spend time with. This can have a different connotations;

One of which is negative, i.e. if we hang round with people who have poor standards, behaviours, traits, values, etc, then we will often get swept along with them and our behaviours will start to align with them… somewhat ‘dragging you down’, holding you back from achieving your goals if not moving you further away from them.

The other side is the positive, stating that if you spend more time with people who have high standards and more desirable behaviours, traits, values, etc then your behaviours and actions will often start to align with them… somewhat dragging you up and move you towards your goals at a faster pace.

Who Should Take A Closer Look At Who They Spend Time With?

Anyone who doesn’t live in a bubble! If you are someone who spends time with people regularly, then this will undoubtedly have an effect.

This becomes even more important if you are working toward a specific goal, as your social circle ultimately will have a (sometimes subconscious) impact on your progress toward this.

All we are looking to do is (on average) try to surround ourselves regularly with people who are either on the same path as you or have maybe already achieved the goals you wish to, as success leaves clues.

Now of course it may not always be possible to actually make changes to the people you are spending time with, as it may be your family, your partner or some of your closest friends who have some of these habits that are potentially not in line with your goals.

I’m not for a second suggesting you remove these people from your life (...or am I?), you just need to be careful with how it affects your behaviour - to ignore it and not take it into consideration would be unwise..

When Should I Choose Who And Who Not To Spend My Time With?

In many areas of our life, it won’t really make too much of a difference who we are spending our time with, as their behaviours either won’t influence us or they are simply areas that we either don’t place high value on and/or they are areas that we are not trying to make progress in currently.

There may be times however where you feel like you do need to put some distance between you and someone if you are really focusing on a specific goal and they really do have a negative influence on you, this can be for a short period of time or indefinitely.

An example of this could be if you’re trying to give up smoking and you have that friend that smokes like a chimney. You can either be transparent with this person and say that you’re going to have to distance yourself from them for a period of time, or you can just look to drift further apart from them.

A different example may be that it isn’t that you necessarily have a negative influence, it’s just that you don’t have any positive influences or like minded people who will support and motivate you to achieve the goals you have.

An example of this would be if none of your friends or family go to a gym, you may decide to join a gym with a strong community feel. You may get to know some of the members there and make new friends with people who go to the gym regularly already and have made fitness a part of their lives. This would be a new social group that drag you and your health and fitness standards up.

The most important thing to take from this article is that you should look to try to surround yourself with more positive people.

Where Should I Look For Positive People?

The most important thing to take from this article is that you should look to try to surround yourself with more positive people.

Even if you have a few ‘bad eggs’ in your social circle, the more positive people you have around you the higher your average will be, over time.

Your best bet, in my opinion, is to spend more time with people at FACTR. Get stuck in to the social events, get to know people in your sessions, come to bootcamps. These are people who are on the same journey as many of them will have already achieved some of the things you wish to accomplish.

How Should I Look To Upgrade My Social Circle?

Step 1 - Identify any negative influences that are adversely affecting you and your progress toward your goals… either distance yourself from them for a period of time or look to be proactive with the types of interactions you have with them.

For example, if you have a friend who always lures you out ‘just for one drink’, which then inevitably turns you into a skinful, then you may wish to take command of the situation and look to steer the interaction to something more in line with your goals. So instead of going for a drink on a Friday night, you might reach out first and suggest a Sunday morning dog walk instead.

Step 2 - Find new positive influences - either people on a similar journey as you or people who have already achieved things you want to! A great place to start is leaning into the community here at FACTR, come to the social events and get to know other gym members.